B'Blues....

Its a funny how sometimes you wake up and realize that the better part of 2* years of your life has gone by. You look around and people who started the race at the same time as you did are fading away into the horizon (or are left far behind). The chalk lines that define their race track seem terribly different from yours. It just felt that as we started out, we were all shooting at the same target!! I understand - things change, but such a dramatic change is disconcerting.

I guess it was easy when in life you wanted just one thing. Things have gotten so messed up now that the mind can't fixate on just one thing. And as a result there is a terrible deadlock. When you start walking towards something, your other goals pull you back to where you started from. Is it this deadlock that's weighing me down or just the mental/emotional baggage I have collected over the last few years?

Is it human nature to not be satisfied where you are, what you have achieved or is it just the knowledge that you aren't fulfilling your potential, or even worse, a delusional feel of grandeur that will keep gnawing your insides never letting you be happy. B'days are days of introspection. Sadly, its the only time I actually look back at my year and wonder what the hell I've been up to!!!

Anyways... enough of that. Lemme wake up tomorrow and see if I'm peppier than I am today!!